Relationships Matter | Philippians Week 10 | Dr. Chip Bennett
1) What are some tips you have for better communication?
2) How can we work on creating and establishing interpersonal, healthy human relationships?
3) What are some spiritual disciplines we can cultivate to strengthen these relationships?
You know, there’s a question that you probably had growing up. I would be very surprised if you didn’t hear this question. If you didn’t hear this question, you definitely know somebody who did. But I think every one of us, at some level, heard this question growing up. You’ll be familiar with it when I tell you. It was this: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Does anybody remember being asked that question? Does anybody remember asking that question to your kids? Right? But what’s interesting is when we know that, when we think about that, there is a scaffolding of presuppositions underneath that question that maybe we don’t often think about because we sort of just think about what we’re doing and move on through the day. Oftentimes, we don’t pull back and go, “Hold on. What does that mean? How does that work? What does that really say about my life? What does that say about life in general?”
Some of the presuppositions here is that you and I are in complete control, in some capacity, of our life. Maybe some of the presuppositions are find the things that you really like and do them. Maybe there’s a sense of autonomy that’s maybe beyond what we maybe actually have embedded in here. But one of the things that this question does is it never leaves us. It doesn’t come in that question all the time, but the idea is the scaffolding behind it is always in our lives. What do we want? What do we like? What do we want out of this or that? What do we want out of our marriage? What do we want out of all of this stuff?
Most of us are sort of going through life with the idea that, at some point, we’re going to what we want to do, or we want what we want. When we don’t like what we want, we leave and go somewhere else. Or if we don’t get what we want, we’re going to find some other place to go. Somewhere along the way in our life, as we’re sort of going through this and still answering this question of what you want to be when you grow up, we meet Jesus. And Jesus is, unfortunately, not really concerned about what we want to be when we grow up, although He does love us and He does care about the things that we care about, in many ways. But His questions are different. His questions are not, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” His questions are, “How can you be a part of what I’m doing? How can you enter into my kingdom rule? How can you start to process life the way I do?”
So often, that becomes a difficult thing. If you’re honest, and I hope that you will be honest, one of the most difficult things about being a follower of Jesus is that I just want to do it my way. I don’t always want to do it His way.
Now, you all are probably spiritual. The other services, probably, are not as spiritual as you all are. Okay? But I think all of us, at some level, can go, “Yeah. You know, that’s right.”
You start off as a little kid and everybody goes, “What do you want to be?”
And it’s all about what you want to do and what you like. So, we meet Jesus and Jesus goes, “Hey, you know, actually, the way to life is to deny yourself, take up a cross, and follow me. Actually, the way to life is to lose yours and you’ll gain it.”
We go, “Whoa. Well, hold on. I don’t know that I want to do all of that. I don’t know that I want to go all the way there. I mean, can we just talk about the fact that He loves me? Can we just talk about the fact that He’s Savior? Can we talk about that He’s good? This idea of ordering my life around Him, that just is uncomfortable from time to time.”
That’s why this epistle that we’re in, the epistle to the Philippians, is so important. Because it’s not saying anything else that Jesus didn’t say. It’s not saying anything else that the book of Hebrews doesn’t say. It’s not saying anything else that the Gospel of Mark doesn’t say. It just says it differently. The way it says it is that we, as followers of Jesus, should have the mind or the attitude of Jesus. And that leads to a life of joy. And who doesn’t want joy? We all want joy. But Jesus is going, “Hey, I know that you may think that this is the way to get it, but this is actually the way to get it.”
And Paul, who now is a follower of Jesus, has been following Jesus, and now is penning this to the Philippian church, he’s saying to them, “Hey, listen, there is a better way.”
It’s not all based on circumstances and what you want to be when you grow up. It’s really about understanding more about who God is and what it means to fall under His kingdom rule. The really important part of that is that when you really do the way God wants you to do, which seems so counterintuitive, it’s really the best life.
So, he’s written this epistle and he’s gone through all of these things that we’ve gone through over the last many, many, many weeks. Over two months. Coming up on three months now into this epistle. Last weekend, we sort of hit right where this letter was going the entire time. Not that there weren’t stops along the way that were important. Not that there weren’t other issues that Paul needed to develop. But he’s brought it all into this particular point where we have these two ladies who are leaders in the church who are more concerned about what they want to be when they grow up than what the Lord wants them to do. And Paul says that has massive implications not only for you and for me, but for the Church.
It’s massive when we don’t understand what it really means to be a follower of Jesus and to have the mind of Christ. He says, “I want you all to agree in the Lord. Like, stop trying to be what you want to be when you grow up, and start realizing that you’re a part of a whole other community. You’re under the rulership of Jesus. Jesus has a kingdom, and you are a servant in that kingdom. You’ve signed up. When you said, “Jesus is Lord,” there was a claim there that happened. In fact, the word “repent,” which we talk about all the time, I’m not sure we really understand that word. We sort of use that word like — most of us go, “I think repentance is when the pastor preaches a message, people feel convicted, and they come down front and cry. They feel bad about what they did. I think that’s what repentance looks like.”
And then when somebody doesn’t do that, we go, “Well, they didn’t repent.”
The word “repent” is a compound word in Greek, which means that it’s two words put together. It’s two words of “changing” and “mind.” It means to change your mind. What’s interesting is in the first century, when a king would defeat another king, go into another kingdom and defeat them, there would be couriers that would bring letters to the people in that kingdom who had been defeated, and do you know what they were told? They were told “metanoia.” They were told to repent. Well, that doesn’t sound like crying. It sounds like you need to have an attitude change. Your king is no longer that king. Your king is now this king.
So, when Jesus says, “Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand,” He’s not saying, “Come to an altar,” because there weren’t really those altars that everybody could go to, on a regular basis, and cry. He’s saying, “You sort of have to figure out is your allegiance here?” to, “What do I want to be when I grow up, or is my allegiance now to, “What is it that God’s called me to do? What is it that God’s called me to be?”
So, we enter into this church bickering, which we all can sort of relate to in some way. But there’s this bickering. What Paul is doing — I’m not quite sure Paul understood the ramifications of what he had written. I’m sure that God did, who was superintending what he wrote. But what Paul does here is incredible because he starts to talk about how important interpersonal relationships between people actually are. And that shouldn’t be a surprise, at all, because we should go, “Yeah. It’s pretty simple. God said to love Him and to love people.”
That’s it. Those are the two things that we’ve got to do. Love God. Love people. In fact, John says, “How can you say that you love God, whom you can’t see, if you can’t love your brother whom you can see?”
That’s why I always say it’s hard to be right with God and wrong with people. And we’ve learned, over these last several years, because we’ve got social media, and we sort of quarantined and did all this stuff. We’ve sort of learned how to not have those relationships. We see the breakdown of everything. God’s like, “People matter. Those relationships matter. These women, they need to agree because it not only messes up their life, but it also messes up the church’s life. It messes up the witness of the church.”
Interpersonal relationships matter big-time. He’s going to write to us about this. So often, we just pick, pull, and yank Scriptures, and act like there’s not a context and there’s not something that’s going on in the passage. We just sort of maybe miss everything that God’s saying to us. Maybe, just maybe, there is so much more to how we interact with people. We’ve learned, sort of — especially in America, we’ve learned this art of somehow thinking that we can love God and then turn around and hate and blast and rip and look down upon others, as if we’re being holy. God’s going, “No, no, no. The way this happens here is a way to understand how our relationship looks.”
And these two women are fighting and are embroiled in a situation that Paul feels like he has to speak into, and it couldn’t be more poignant than today. Here’s what he tells them to do. We’re going to a little recap because we’re going to push a little bit further into the text, but I’ve got to get everybody to follow the logic, to see what he’s saying because it’s profound. He tells them to rejoice, which is plural, which means it’s more than one, obviously referring to Euodia and Syntyche, but also referring to the Church. He says, “Rejoice, plural, in the Lord always.”
This is something that’s very difficult for us to do because we tend to get our joy, our happiness, or our circumstances based on what we see. If things are going good, we’re happy. If things are going bad, we’re depressed, we’re not happy, and all of these things. Paul is like, “No, no. Stop here for a second. You can actually find joy not in your fighting, in enmity, arguing, trying to win and all this stuff. You can find joy and you can rejoice in the Lord always because He doesn’t change. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forevermore.”
You can always find joy. He ain’t moving around like everything else. He says, “And again I will…” — this is a future tense. This means he’s going to continue to do this. He’s saying, “Listen, this is the posture. You are fighting. Don’t do that. Agree in the Lord because it really affects everything when two people don’t get along. And many of you know that, right now, because you have relationships that are broken, and you know the stress, the stuff, the garbage, and all of the stuff that goes along with broken relationships.”
I mean, what is the whole Bible about? It’s about God having relationship with His people and using His people to bring relationship and restoration to others. This is like the whole thing here. And when it’s broken, it’s broken bad. He says, “Rejoice in the Lord,” and the reason he says that is because he says, “I want your reasonableness, I want your gentleness, your kindness to be known to everyone.”
In other words, the posture of the Christian is not the posture of creating all kinds of division, all kinds of havoc, and all kinds of disarray where many people are like, “Ah, man. I know I preached at them, but they’re all mad at me. I really told them how it was.”
Is that letting our reasonableness be known to everyone, or is that a miscalculation of something that we’re maybe pulling one passage and elevating it over the rest of the Bible that talks about living quiet and peaceable lives, being nice, turning the other cheek, and all the grand things that we’re told? Because he says, “The Lord’s presence is at hand. He’s there.”
But listen. This is important because this is where we’re going right now.
He says, “Do not be anxious about anything,”
Now, listen. Is that in the context? Is that when you get a phone call from the hospital that your son has been in an accident, and they can’t tell you how well he’s doing or whether or not he’s alive? Is that when you pull this out and say, “Don’t be anxious?” Is that what that means? When you get the report from the doctor that you may only have a few weeks left to live, is that what that means? For those of you all who may be on anxiety medication, does that mean this is telling you that you’re wrong and, somehow, you’re weak, and, somehow, you don’t know what God has to do? No. It has nothing to do with any of that. It has to do with the context. It has to do with a broken relationship of two women who were not getting along together. And when you have broken relationships, what happens? When you see that person, you know you’re going to see that person, or you know you’re going to interact with that person, what happens? Anxiety. Paul says, in 2 Corinthians 11, that he has the anxiety of the Church that he deals with every day. Is that a bad thing? No. This is relational. Paul is saying, “You don’t understand. Relationships matter.”
When you have two women, in leadership, who are fighting, what happens in the church? There’s Team Euodia and there’s Team Syntyche. And then what do they do? They fight. And then what happens? Everybody’s anxious. Everybody’s on eggshells. Are you doing the things of God at that point? No. So, Paul says, “Listen, this is important. That whole mind of Christ, laying things behind, and putting others better than yourself, we’re coming right here to this moment because it’s really not about what you want to be when you grow up as a follower of Jesus. It’s, “Lord, how can I serve in Your kingdom?”
So, he says, “Don’t be anxious, contextually, about anything.”
And you go, “Well, there’s the word, right there. There is the word. Anything.”
Well, if you and I are out at a restaurant — let’s pick one. Moe’s. So, everybody, welcome to Moe’s. We’re at a restaurant. The man or woman walks up and says to you, “Can I get you anything?”
Does that mean a car? Does that mean to pay off your mortgage? No. It means, “Can I get you anything within the context of what that ‘anything’ would possibly mean?”
So, he’s saying, “Listen, I don’t want you all to be anxious about this stuff. I don’t want the Church to be fragmented. I want you to live in a life of joy. I don’t want this to wreck everything because you want to be what you want to be when you grow up. He says, “So, don’t be anxious,” but here’s the solution. Here’s the solution to this.
Here it is: “…but in everything…”
Interpersonal relationships, the way we relate to people, everything should start with prayer. It doesn’t. I don’t know who said it and coined it, but they said, “When someone’s rubbed you wrong, don’t get on the phone, go to the throne.”
So, what’s the first step here in these times where things are, “Ugh.” He says, “Well, you’ve got to stop this stuff because this is not the way you need to work. You’ve got to start with prayer.”
What’s prayer? You know, I heard this great thing, just this last week, that prayer is more about relationship than results. It’s more about communication than control. It’s taught by prayer. Laying down. I mean, the word basically means to have towards. Proseuché. “Pros” is like towards and with and face-to-face. This prayer, this wish, this talking in a real close deal. Start there. And supplication. This word “supplication” has an urgency to it. There’s an urgency to what’s going on. Like, you can’t continue in the fighting. That’s why Paul says, in Ephesians, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Deal with it now because if you don’t deal with it now, it will fester, it will control, and it will consume. Relationships matter. Jesus says it this way in the Sermon on the Mount: “If you’re coming to bring your gift, and you realize somebody has something against you,” — not that you have something against them. They have something against you — “don’t offer the gift. Go make it right first, and then come offer the gift.”
Why is that so important? Because relationships are important. Because the way we interact with one another is vital.
He says, “…but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving…”
How do you normally pray when someone’s bugging you? “God, could You just show them the truth? Could You wake them up in the middle of the night and help them to understand that the way I see Scripture is the way that it needs to be seen by them?”
No, no, no. You can’t really be attacking anybody when you’ve got some thanksgiving going on, and especially if you’re giving thanksgiving not only to God, but for them because they’re your brother and sister, because they’re someone God’s put in your life for a purpose. It’s really hard to not start getting things structured when you do this, and then, and only then, talk to God about it. See, this is powerful. This isn’t just rip stuff out of context, pull it, and go, “Here you go. There you go. Here was this.”
No, no. All of this is really together. This is powerful stuff. And do you know what he says? Do you know what he says when we’re willing to pray about these things rather than just let it fester, and we’re willing to see the urgency of putting it back together, and we’re willing to pray with thanksgiving before we ever even think about letting our requests be made known unto God? Do you know what you’re promised? You’re promised that the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard — a fortress, a garrison, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. This is powerful. This is applicable. This is relevant.
Why did I take so much time to just develop that one passage? Because here’s what I want you to see, and I hope you see this. First, we need to revisit the vital nature of interpersonal, healthy human relationships. That’s why he says, “I need you guys to agree. We’ve got to stop this. We’ve got to stop this.”
You don’t have to like the data that I share with you. In fact, you can make up your own data. You can say, “I don’t even like the people that did the data,” so you can make up the people that you want to do the data. You can make it say whatever you want it to say, but whatever the data says, it should be shocking. Syracuse University has concluded, with thousands and thousands of studies on this, that the quality of our relationships is the single biggest predictor of our happiness. Look around the world. Depression. Anxiety. Everything else. Why? Because we’re factioned off, we’re fractioned off, we’re quarreling, we’re mad. All we have to do is look. We’ve just gone through two years of everybody hating everybody over everything. And here’s the question I’m going to ask you. And it shouldn’t even be a shocker, but it’s a question I have to ask. How’s it working? Not only that, but people in healthy relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. That’s shocking. You go, “I don’t believe that. It’s 40%.”
Fine. Use 40%.
“Well, I don’t like it. I think it’s 20%.”
Great. Choose 20%. It’s still too much. Are you ready for this? They did a study on tens of thousands of kids that had adverse interpersonal relations with people. You can imagine, today, how many adverse interactions children have. Who knows? Hundreds? This was based on if they had three to four adverse experiences in an interpersonal relationship. This is a study. It’s called the ACE Experiment. Listen to this. They were twelve times more likely to commit suicide. You don’t think relationships matter? Seven times more likely to be an alcoholic. Ten times more likely to inject drugs. And overall higher rates of depression, divorce, and violent behavior followed.
You don’t think Paul and the Lord knew, when he said, “Agree? Get it right. Stop whatever you’ve got to do and make it right.”
Because when it’s not right, it’s not right. What we want to do, the first thing we want to do, is go, “Well, yeah, but what about the person who does this?”
That’s not the first place you should go, as a Christian. The first place that you should go, as a Christian, is, “What can I do? How can I do this?”
Yes. There will be times that you do have to turn and move away, and there will be times where boundaries need to be set. That’s not this message. This message is, “How important is it that our fundamental relationships are important?”
In fact, we’re told, all over the Bible, that God doesn’t hear your prayer when you’ve got a problem here. We go, “Oh, that doesn’t matter. That’s no big deal.”
When it talks about, “Husbands and wives, don’t hinder your prayers by the way you treat one another.”
“Ah, that’s not the Bible. I like this part of the Bible.”
Why is it so relational-heavy? And isn’t it interesting that we choose to pick on certain things that are not even really talked about that much in the Bible, and we somehow forget about all the things that are? Think about it. It’s imperative that we think about and revisit. Because, secondly, we’ve got to work, as the people of God who are called to be lights to the world, on creating and establishing interpersonal, healthy, human relationships. We should be the leaders of this. Every business in town that’s having a problem should want to call the local church and say, “I don’t know how you guys do it, but man, all of you all get along, you wash feet, you serve. Can you give us the secret? Whatever it is that you’ve got.”
Instead, we look just as bad, if not, sometimes, worse than the world. We’ve got to work on this. Paul says, “Hey, you need to agree. I don’t want you living a life of anxiety. I want the peace of God to guard your hearts. I don’t want you to live with all that friction and garbage of unhealthy relationships.”
You want to know how important this is to God? Remember Abraham and Lot had a quarrel? Maybe you don’t remember that. You’re like, “I don’t know. Where’s that at?”
It’s in the Old Testament. It’s okay if you don’t know. It’s totally cool if you go, “Lot? I thought that’s what I was buying out here, in Waterside, to put a house on.”
No. Abraham and Lot had a quarrel. Do you know how long it took to resolve that quarrel? About 800 years. When Ruth, who was a Moabitess, married Boaz, the quarrel stopped. See, God never, ever, ever stops on trying to get broken relationships back together. And neither should we. So, we’ve got to work on creating and establishing things. That’s why he says, “Let your reasonableness…”
In other words, we should be people that are good at this. We should be people that know how — I mean, people should go, “Man, the Christians, whenever there’s a problem at work, or whenever something’s going on, those are the people that you go to because they sort of understand how to be gentle and kind. They understand how to be reasonable people.”
Let me give you some help here. We could go on and on and on. This is just some stuff to think about. When I preach, I’m not trying to give you answers as much as I’m trying to get you to interact with the Lord and start to go away, going, “Okay, God. We’ve got to work on this. I need You.”
I’m not your answer man. The Lord is. I’m here to expose you to some things, to get you to think, so that you can interact with God. Here are just some tips. How about this? How about try to understand where the other person is coming from and how they understand the world when communicating with them? That’d be a shocker, wouldn’t it? Can you imagine if everybody did that?
“I don’t care where they’re coming from. They’re wrong. In the name of the Lord. Hallelujah. I’ll give them the left foot of fellowship.”
How about be willing to hear something that doesn’t fall within what you’ve predetermined to be true? Do you know what’s interesting? Sometimes, if you’re willing to listen to people that don’t see it the way you do, do you know what can happen? Surprise. You might realize you were wrong.
I’m just saying that. Just listen to me. How about listen without preparing your rebuttal or response? We’re good at that, aren’t we? Somebody’s talking and all we’re doing is going, “Okay. Remember that point, remember that point, so I can zap them, so I can rip them, so I can tell them where they’re wrong.”
How about this? Good, healthy relationships, this is what they tend to do. They tend to give each other trust and respect. Let me just say something here. I’m not trying to be snarky. I’m not trying to give you a hard time. I’m just trying to be honest. How many of us would be bold enough and vulnerable enough to say, “Yes? When I walk into a mall and I see somebody wearing an earring like that, or their pants like that, or the way that they talk, or the lifestyle that they’re leading, I automatically look and go, ‘How could they do that?’”
Well, that’s not giving each other trust and respect off the bat. Maybe we need to work on that. Maybe we’re pushing people away. What we don’t know is how those things that we don’t even know, relationships that we’ve formed or not formed, how they might be the thing that made the difference. What if that person that you looked down your nose upon was the person that you were supposed to really meet, and that was the person that was going to help you solve some of the issues in your life, and God put them right in front of you. Rather than treating them the way God would want you to treat them, you pushed them away and lost.
How about this? Healthy relationships discipline themselves enough so that they don’t treat people poorly. Boy, we could use a dose of that. How easy is it just to get mad and just rip somebody’s head off, these days?
Healthy relationships don’t look for identity or healing in others. This is something we need to hear. You’re not going to get your identity and you’re not going to get your healing in other people. Those will be broken relationships because those people will always let you down. You want to get to know me really well? I can tell you something. I’ll let you down at some point, and I can say the same about you. You can’t get your identity from others. And they tend to not focus on what they can get from the relationship. They tend to realize, “Do you know what? I’m here to serve. I’m here to help. I’m not here to get.”
It’s funny because even though they say this, it’s so biblical. The Bible is like, “When you pour into others, God does it for you.”
These are all biblical things. So, we need to revisit because I think that these relationships really matter. We need to figure out how to create and establish better relationships than what we’re doing. Last, we need to cultivate spiritual disciplines that support interpersonal, healthy human relationships. In other words, we need to have some spiritual practices. If you want your heart rate to get better, if you don’t want to be winded when you walk up a set of stairs, you probably need to do some cardiovascular exercise so that doesn’t happen. I don’t know why anybody would want to do that. My wife does. I just, through osmosis, hope it comes into my life. I mean, all godly people drink Mountain Dew and eat Cheetos. But the point is that there are things we need to do that will cultivate certain things in our lives. Which is why he says, “Don’t be anxious. Pray. Supplication. Thanksgiving. Let your requests be made known to God.”
Here are the disciplines here: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Now, you might not have seen this in the passage when you read it. It’s totally okay. You might not have realized that a lot of these authors are using parallels. When I show it to you, you’re going to go, “How did I miss that?”
It’s okay. That’s why we do this, so that you start to see some of these things when you read Scripture. But Paul parallels something here.
“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. […] let your requests be made known to God.”
It shouldn’t be striking that the first one deals with people and the second one deals with God. It shouldn’t be striking at all. We should all know that, intuitively, as Christians, that the big deal is to love God and love others. I mean, the Ten Commandments. First three: God. Last six: People. Sandwiched in between: Rest. It’s rest. It’s not sleeping. It’s the rule and sovereignty of God that has dispelled chaos. God wants to dispel chaos from our lives. He wants us to get at a place where we’re ready, under His rule, to act. And it’s really hard to love God and love people when everything is at chaos, which is why the fourth commandment is rest. But your reasonableness known to everyone, and your requests known to God. This is the essence of Christianity. When these things are broken down, when our relationship with people breaks our relationship with God, and when we’re not right with God we’re not right with people, these things really matter.
Then he gives us this really cool thing — and God gives me the thunder behind “cool thing.” Thank You. I appreciate that. Thank You. He’s like, “You idiot. It was just a storm. Don’t use the storm for me.”
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone, and your requests — here’s the little, cool thing that he does. He says that when we learn to get our joy from God, not other things, circumstances, and whether or not somebody agrees with you, or whether the church does it the way you want it, or if the boss does it the way you want it — whatever it may be, when you can find your rejoicing in the Lord, then your gentleness and kindness is shown to others. And when you can learn and we can learn to go to the Lord in prayer with thanksgiving, not all upset, ripping people, and praying imprecatory prayers at them, strike them dead — if we have thanksgiving, we can let our requests be made known to God. And in this, loving God and loving others is such a place of peace and rest. Don’t let relationships that you can be the one to take the step to rejoicing, praying, and giving thanksgiving — don’t let them fall apart. You may not be able to get everything right, you may not find every answer to everything, but what we can surely do is be those people that model this.
And I just have a suspicion that the more we model this, the more we’ll see God work in those relationships, and we’ll start to go, “Man, God really knew what He was doing. Man, I took this step out and, next thing you know, man…”
Because sometimes you’ve got to step out of the boat to walk on the water. Sometimes you’ve got to step out and do it God’s way. And you go, “Oh my gosh. There was a miracle. He put this thing back together. This thing’s starting to work.”
It’s incredible. And all of this, all of this, starts from reflecting on the goodness that God has given to you and I. As undeserved as we were, the more we realize how much He loves you and I, the more we can extend that to others.
So, we’re going to sing a song. The Goodness of God. I pray that you will take a moment and allow God to just speak deeply to you. Maybe there’s somebody — a relationship, a family member, a spouse, a child. Maybe this is your moment to just say, “God, You’ve been faithful to me, You’ve been good to me. You know what? It’s time to bring this thing home. It’s time to pray. It’s time to get urgent about this. It’s time to say, “Thanksgiving.”
Can I tell you something? The more you pray for someone, the more you thank God for that person, can I tell you something? The more you’ll start to love them. It’s crazy. It’s the craziest thing in the world. And maybe, just maybe, God might start putting some things back together and remove that relational anxiety.